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Have you ever been in a relationship with someone and felt like you’re not on the same page? You say one thing, but your partner hears another? Or, after a big fight, you yearn for closeness, but they want to withdraw? Or maybe it’s the other way around?

These disconnects can be attributed to a difference in what are called “attachment styles.” Attachment styles refer to how childhood experiences shape our adult relationships and how these early bonds impact future connections. In the past, a person’s attachment style was considered unchangeable, but this is no longer the case.

You don’t have to feel as though relationships are impossible, with so many things left unsaid and misunderstood. You can heal your attachment style for good, changing the way you relate to everyone around you.